Jul. 25th, 2013

malgrin: (Wee Me)
I heard from my kids' grandma this morning. The needle biopsy on their grandpa has confirmed the lymphoma diagnosis. So - the diagnosis wasn't incorrect, but apparently that cocktail of chemo drugs isn't doing the trick, so they're at square one. He's feeling a little better, though. I suspect that's because he's in the hospital with an IV. He has trouble staying hydrated on his own.

So - this news lets me breathe a little better. It isn't a scarier diagnosis than he already had. I am sad, though, that the first stab at treatment has been ineffective and that he has a whole new protocol yet to endure. Britta is flying out to see them in a couple of weeks. I'm glad for that.

I'm mentally/emotionally adjusting to LadyB's diagnosis. She was feeling a bit better yesterday... and has some wonderful people helping to take care of her. She's so outspoken about what she needs from her friends - it is helping me to navigate the situation and not just roost in an emotionally devestated place. I can be of use. She needs me to be of use. I will be of use.

On the legal front, our lawyer has rattled his saber officially - and we'll see what happens. I'm remaining relatively unattached to results. Sure - there is a vague hope that this will go well for us - and legally, it SHOULD. However, with all of the other emotional stuff going on, I just can't get too invested. I am glad that program can "run in the background" for now.

Tomorrow is Faerieworlds. I can hardly believe that it is here. I don't feel as attached to it as I have in the past. I have felt relatively detached from most things since April. I'm hoping to have a good time all the same. It's going to be 88 degrees tomorrow - which will be hot. It's supposed to drop off a bit over the weekend, which will be good. It's actually 80 degrees in my office right now... so today will probably get interesting. Ugh. But, there is work to be done and so I shall do it.

When I Go

Jul. 25th, 2013 03:40 pm
malgrin: (Wee Me)
I'm not trying to be morbid today, but my co-worker turned 50 today and told me that when he passes away, he wants the song "Time to Say Goodbye" played at his service.

I've known this for many years.

For some reason - today it sparked within me a need to listen to the song that I'd like played at MY service when my time has come. I have listened to it 10 times or more today already. I don't feel like this means I'm melancholy. The lyrics of this song simply resonate with me... and inspire me. They make me feel determined to LIVE (and in some respects - live in ways that I'm really not living at the moment) so that I'll be READY ... when I go.

Lyrics )


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